Parenting and Grief: Honoring the Journey of Letting Go and Embracing Change
As a parent, you often think of grief in terms of loss—of death, of endings, or of significant life changes. But one of the most profound and often overlooked forms of grief you experience is the grief of transition—specifically, the grief that arises when you release the child they were to make space for the child they are becoming. This grief is subtle, present in the spaces between one stage of development and the next. It’s the grief of saying goodbye to the child you once held in your arms, while holding space for the person they are growing into.
As a parent, you often think of grief in terms of loss—of death, of endings, or of significant life changes. But one of the most profound and often overlooked forms of grief you experience is the grief of transition—specifically, the grief that arises when you release the child they were to make space for the child they are becoming. This grief is subtle, present in the spaces between one stage of development and the next. It’s the grief of saying goodbye to the child you once held in your arms, while holding space for the person they are growing into.
Grieving the Child They Were
The moment your child is born, you begin dreaming for them. You envision their future—what kind of person they will be, what achievements they’ll have, what they’ll love and value, who they’ll become. In those early days of parenthood, you envision a path, a life full of potential and promise. But as your child grows, they start to reveal who they really are—not necessarily the version of them you imagined.
Each transition—from infancy to toddlerhood, from child to pre-teen, from teen to young adult—presents its own layer of grief. You may find yourself grieving the loss of your child as they once were. The sweet, dependent infant becomes a fiercely independent teenager. The quiet child grows into someone with their own opinions, desires, and dreams, and it’s not always in alignment with what you thought you were preparing them for.
In these moments, grief isn’t about sadness, but about acceptance. Accepting the fact that the child who once clung to you is becoming someone with their own identity, their own journey. You grieve the loss of who that child was, but you must also celebrate the emergence of the person they are becoming. This is a quiet, often unspoken grief, but it’s one that accompanies the beauty of parenthood: watching your child become who they are meant to be, even if it doesn’t always look like what you envisioned.
Grieving the Life You Envisioned
As soon as the news of your new child enters your life, so too does the dream for what their life will be. You think about the moments ahead—what milestones they'll reach, what experiences you’ll have together, what family traditions you’ll create. You might envision school plays, sports games, family vacations, and the kind of person you hope they’ll grow up to be. But life rarely turns out how you expect. Your child may take a different path than the one you imagined for them—different interests, different talents, different dreams.
This grief can be complicated. It’s the pain of having to let go of the vision you created for them and embrace the one that they’re carving out for themselves. It’s recognizing that the child you thought you would raise may not look or act how you envisioned, but still loving them fully and deeply for the person they are becoming. It’s realizing that there is beauty in their uniqueness, even if it’s not the version of them you once held so tightly in your mind.
But that’s where the real power of parenthood lies: the ability to support, celebrate, and honor the person in front of you. The more you grieve the life you envisioned, the more you create space for your child’s authentic journey. And in doing so, you honor their choices, their talents, and their unfolding path.
The Grief of Changing Relationships
As your child transitions through different stages of life, so too does your relationship with them. From the dependency of infancy to the independence of adulthood, your bond with them evolves and transforms. As they grow, your role as a parent shifts too—from a caregiver and protector to a guide, mentor, and sometimes, a spectator.
There is grief in watching your child no longer need you in the same way they once did. There is grief in the quiet moments when your child no longer reaches for your hand, when they no longer turn to you first for comfort, when they have become so capable of managing their own emotions and challenges. It can feel like a loss, but it’s also a beautiful shift—an evolution in your relationship that allows them to step fully into their own power.
The shift from adolescence to adulthood can feel like the most significant transition. It’s the moment when you are no longer the center of their world, and yet, you begin to see them standing on their own, making choices, navigating life independently. There’s grief in releasing your child into the world and yet, there’s immense pride in watching them blossom into the person they were always meant to be.
Grieving and Celebrating the Becoming
The key to navigating this grief as a parent is to celebrate the becoming. Grief doesn’t mean sadness alone—it means the end of one chapter and the opening of another. It’s the honoring of both the past and the future. As a parent, you grieve because you love, because you care deeply about the child you once held in your arms. But you also celebrate the unfolding journey—each step, each transition, each milestone.
Your role as a parent is to hold space for your child’s becoming while also honoring the relationship you’ve shared at each stage of life. Yes, there will be grief as you release them from one stage and support them through the next, but in that grief is also the profound joy of witnessing their growth.
Conclusion: Embracing the Process of Grief and Growth
Parenting isn’t just about guiding your child—it’s about navigating the journey with them. It’s about holding them as they grow, while also learning to let go as they become who they are meant to be. The grief you experience in parenting is deeply tied to love, acceptance, and the beauty of growth.
As you honor and support your child through each transition, you also learn to honor yourself as a parent. You grieve, you celebrate, and you embrace the becoming—not just of your child, but of yourself as a parent and a human being who, like your child, is constantly evolving.
What stages of grief are you experiencing with your child? How can you honor both the journey of your child and the grief you feel? Embrace the beauty of these moments, for they are the markers of a beautiful, ever-evolving story of growth, change, and love.
The Rooted Parenting Model: An Attachment-Based Approach to Nurturing Strong Family Bonds
Parenting is an ever-evolving journey filled with challenges, growth, and profound connections. The Rooted Parenting Model provides a structured, attachment-based framework that helps parents align their strategies with their core values, fostering a life that supports both immediate needs and long-term family goals.
Parenting is an ever-evolving journey filled with challenges, growth, and profound connections. The Rooted Parenting Model provides a structured, attachment-based framework that helps parents align their strategies with their core values, fostering a life that supports both immediate needs and long-term family goals.
What is the Rooted Parenting Model?
The Rooted Parenting Model offers a holistic approach designed to help parents cultivate meaningful, lasting relationships with their children. It emphasizes understanding, connection, and growth through a five-step process: Recognize, Regulate, Respond, Repair, and Reconnect. This model not only addresses day-to-day parenting challenges but also nurtures the emotional well-being of both parents and children.
The Five Pillars of the Rooted Parenting Model
1. Recognize
The first step in the Rooted Parenting Model is to identify your family’s core values. This involves reflecting on what truly matters to you as a family and acknowledging any gaps between your ideals and your current practices. By recognizing these gaps, you can set clear, intentional goals for growth and development within your family dynamic.
2. Regulate
Parenting effectively starts with self-awareness. Regulating involves developing emotional intelligence, nurturing your own needs, and maintaining a grounded sense of self. When parents are emotionally balanced, they can model healthy coping mechanisms, providing a stable foundation for their children to learn from.
3. Respond
Parenting is filled with diverse situations that require thoughtful responses. This step focuses on aligning your reactions with your family’s values and your child’s unique needs. By gaining insights into child development and understanding your child’s behavior, you can respond in ways that are compassionate, consistent, and constructive.
4. Repair
No parent is perfect, and mistakes are inevitable. The key lies in how we address and learn from these missteps. The Repair process teaches the art of attuned consequences that foster learning rather than punishment. It emphasizes accountability, empathy, and growth for both parent and child, strengthening the parent-child bond through vulnerability and understanding.
5. Reconnect
Connection is the cornerstone of healthy relationships. This step encourages parents to prioritize and nurture their bond with their child, using strategies that are developmentally appropriate and emotionally supportive. Reconnection isn’t just about spending time together; it’s about being present, celebrating growth, and honoring each stage of your child’s development.
Embracing the Rooted Parenting Model
By embracing the Rooted Parenting Model, you create a nurturing environment that reflects your family’s values and supports emotional well-being. This approach doesn’t just help in managing everyday parenting challenges; it fosters a deeper connection, mutual respect, and a strong, resilient family unit.
Parenting is not about perfection but about growth, connection, and authenticity. The Rooted Parenting Model provides the tools to navigate this journey with intention, compassion, and a strong sense of purpose, ensuring that both you and your children thrive.
Find out more about this model here.
Reconnecting Women's Health with the Natural Rhythms of the Earth
In our fast-paced, technology-driven world, many women find themselves disconnected from their own bodies and the natural cycles that govern not just the Earth but their well-being. Reconnecting with these rhythms is not just a spiritual journey; it's a fundamental aspect of holistic health and wellness.
In our fast-paced, technology-driven world, many women find themselves disconnected from their own bodies and the natural cycles that govern not just the Earth but their well-being. Reconnecting with these rhythms is not just a spiritual journey; it's a fundamental aspect of holistic health and wellness.
Understanding the Disconnection
Modern lifestyles often encourage us to ignore our natural signals. The constant demand to perform, produce, and multitask can suppress the innate wisdom our bodies hold. For women, this disconnection can be particularly pronounced due to societal pressures that overlook the importance of cyclical living.
The Wisdom of Cycles
Nature operates in cycles: the changing seasons, lunar phases, and even the ebb and flow of tides. Similarly, women's bodies experience their own cycles, most notably the menstrual cycle, which mirrors the Earth's rhythms. Acknowledging and honoring these natural patterns can lead to improved physical health, emotional balance, and mental clarity.
Seasonal Living for Women's Health
Each season offers unique lessons and opportunities for growth:
Spring: A time of renewal and energy. Focus on fresh, nutrient-rich foods and new beginnings in your personal and professional life.
Summer: Embrace activity, social connections, and nourishment from the sun. Engage in exercises that boost vitality and spend time outdoors.
Autumn: Reflect, release, and prepare for introspection. Incorporate grounding foods and practices that promote mental clarity and emotional stability.
Winter: Rest and rejuvenation are key. Prioritize self-care, warmth, and restorative activities to support your body’s need for recovery.
Practical Steps to Reconnect
Track Your Cycle: Understanding your menstrual cycle can provide insights into your physical and emotional needs throughout the month.
Mindful Movement: Engage in exercises that align with your energy levels, such as yoga, walking, or stretching during low-energy phases.
Nature Immersion: Spend time outdoors to recalibrate your internal rhythms with those of the Earth.
Nutritional Awareness: Eat seasonally and intuitively, paying attention to what your body craves at different times of the year.
Rest and Reflection: Honor periods of rest without guilt, recognizing that downtime is essential for growth and regeneration.
Conclusion
Reconnecting with the natural rhythms of the Earth isn’t about abandoning modern conveniences; it’s about integrating ancient wisdom into contemporary life. By tuning into these cycles, women can cultivate a deeper sense of health, harmony, and holistic well-being.